BBC broadcaster Alex Scott says the domestic abuse he suffered as a child is “still so raw” but he wishes he had spoken out sooner.
Scott has released his memoir, in which he describes his father’s violent behavior towards him and his mother.
Her father, Tony, denied her claims on Monday A Daily Mail interview.
Speaking on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour, Scott said: “I almost feel angry at myself for letting him hurt me again with those false claims.”
In an emotional conversation, The former England footballer said he decided to write about his father’s behavior because he wanted to help “free my mother”.
The 37-year-old said: “That story of hers that came out yesterday takes her to a place…hearing the pain and terror in her voice again last night, so I don’t know what I can do. But I’m not going to let her win anymore.
“This book, the reason was to get some peace. And I think when you’re at peace it gives you a new position of power and maybe that’s why he’s trying to (answer) right now.”
In his autobiography, How (Not) to Be Strong, Scott writes about hearing his father abuse his mother while he and his brother lay in bed in their flat in East London. He wrote: “All I could do was lay there and pray that my mother would be alive in the morning.”
Speaking to Radio 4’s Emma Barnett, she said: “(My mum) doesn’t know her two children are in the room listening to everything.
“He’s trying to be strong in a completely different way, we’re trying to be strong for him, but we can’t help him. The visions are still there. There was nothing I could do.
“It’s still very raw. I can see it like it was yesterday.
“Even when my father left that environment, we never communicated or you don’t talk about it, it’s like you go on with your life and try to ignore it, but it never leaves you. That pain and the struggle still goes on. .”
“I’m sorry I didn’t use my voice sooner”
In his father’s interview, he denied being violent towards his family, but admitted that he was a strict parent.
He said: “Maybe he’s judging me by today’s standards, I don’t know. My parents were a lot tougher back then. But I was never violent, that’s just not me. I never beat Alex or anyone else in the family or did anything like that.”
In response, Scott added: “Honestly, I don’t care what happened to me. If you’re saying that beating me with a belt is just being sharp, I can take that, I don’t care about me.
“What I care about is my mother and the fear and terror she had to go through and the fact that I could never help her with that, but what I can do now is help her by telling the truth. And I wrote everything in that book, I’m with her. It’s true.”
Scott has pledged that all proceeds from her book will go towards helping women affected by domestic abuse.
She added: “I’m sorry right now that I didn’t use my voice sooner to help my mother or any other woman in that situation.
“But what she’s done – it just lit a new fire in me yesterday. What I’m going to do is I’m going to do everything I can to help women in this position so that they don’t have the feelings that my mother has carried with her all her life – or that. I have.”
Information and support about domestic abuse
If you are affected by any of the problems in this article, you can find details of organizations that can help you BBC Action Line.
If you feel you are in immediate danger, call the police on 999. If you can’t speak, press 55 when prompted to let them know you need urgent help.
Online web chat and text services are also available.